Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
