Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
