loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
