I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize