I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
