yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize