I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
