he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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