I heard we made out
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
