I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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