sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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