we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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