Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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