Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
