you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
