operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
