i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
be right there i have to get my cape
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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