So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
