That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize