this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
