He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
