My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize