She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
