I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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