I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
