Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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