I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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