I bet he comes in French.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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