I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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