Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
