so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sex in a hospital.. check
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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