Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
