If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
