Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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