I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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