You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
