boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize