I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
