she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
