Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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