Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
