FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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