Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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