he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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