You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
