Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
