bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
