Girls should come with a carfax report
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
