But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
