All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
