I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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