somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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