you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
