So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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