If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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