College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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