we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
