Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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