so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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