the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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