I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
