do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So much rum. So many feels.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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