Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
